One must know not just how to accept a gift,
but with what grace to share it.
- Maya Angelou
People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou 
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou
Life is a gift, and I try to respond with grace and courtesy.
- Maya Angelou
I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou
Everything has rhythm. everything dances.
- Maya Angelou
There's a world of difference between truth and facts.
Facts can obscure truth.
- Maya Angelou
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou
I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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