Do not do unto others
as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
- George Bernard Shaw
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
- George Bernard Shaw 
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw
You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw
The worst sin toward our fellow creatures
is not to hate them,
but to be indifferent to them:
that's the essence of inhumanity.
- George Bernard Shaw
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
- George Bernard Shaw
Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw
Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
I don't believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in the world are the people who
get up and look for the circumstances they want,
and if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
- George Bernard Shaw
Better keep yourself clean and bright;
you are the window through which
you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
Beware of false knowledge;
it is more dangerous than ignorance.
- George Bernard Shaw
In this world there is always danger
for those who are afraid of it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.