By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.