Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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