I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream. by Woody Allen

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
by Woody Allen

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Success consists of going from failure to failure
without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
(also quoted as: "Courage is going from failure to failure
without losing enthusiasm."

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone

The big question is whether you are going to be able
to say a hearty yes to your adventure.
- Joseph Campbell

You don't get to choose how you're going to die,
only how you're going to live.
- Joan Baez

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

We are tied to the ocean.
And when we go back to the sea,
whether it is to sail or to watch -
we are going back from whence we came.
- John F. Kennedy

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass

The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus

I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't.
But there was going to be when I began it.
It's just that something happened to it along the way."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.by Woody Allen

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I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
by Woody Allen