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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
by Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
- the movie Simon Birch (1998)

God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon

God is at play,
I am his modeling clay.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore

When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden

Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray

I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin

From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare

Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II

Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus

The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you have shut your doors, and darkened your room,
remember, never to say that you are alone,
for you are not alone, but God is within,
and your genius is within.
- Epictetus

Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver

God does not play dice.
- Albert Einstein

Most people are more skilled at begging God than at thanking God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous

Praying without ceasing is not ritualized,
nor are there even words.
It is a constant state of awareness of oneness with God.
- Peace Pilgrim

We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa

ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes

Let Go, Let God.
- Anonymous

As your spirit soars throughout
the vast Cathedral of Your Being,
look now into the still waters
of the reflecting pool and behold the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The highest revelation is that God is in every man.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What you are is God's gift to you:
what you become is your gift to god.
- Anthony Dalla Villa

The universe must exist for the self-expression
of God and the delight of God.
- Ernest Holmes

I do not believe in the God of the theologians;
but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt.
- Thomas Edison

The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I try to give to the poor people for love
what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds;
yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
- Mother Teresa


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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