What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? by Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
by Woody Allen

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?by Woody Allen

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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
by Woody Allen