Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Is That All There Is? ...
by Peggy Lee

Is That All There Is?
- Peggy Lee

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall PHOTO

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein

Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore

What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Small people never learn to be indifferent;
they either envy or pity.
- Anonymous

Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind
that makes it so difficult.
- Anonymous

Ambition is like love,
impatient both of delays and rivals.
- The Buddha

To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau

Careers and relationships also have their cycles
of birth, growth, and death -
to be followed by rebirth and the renewal of the cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee

It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous

Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson

Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.
- Khalil Gibran

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with..
- the movie Simon Birch

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous

When you break up, your whole identity is
shattered. It's like death.
- Dennis Quaid

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Stupid is as stupid does.
- the movie Forrest Gump (1994)

The world is a mirror for anger,
which returns to its source as burning torment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are born princes, and the civilizing process makes us frogs.
- Publilius Syrus

When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

Jealousy is the result of one's lack
of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
- Sasha Azevedo

A pessimist is never disappointed.
- Jack Cleary


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.