A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.