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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes by Truman Capote

Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz PHOTO

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall PHOTO

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde PHOTO

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel PHOTO

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec PHOTO

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed) PHOTO

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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