A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler
Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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