This town needs an enema.
- the movie Batman
A man's interest in a single bluebird
is worth more than a complete but dry list
of the fauna and flora of a town.
- Henry David Thoreau
An association of men who will not quarrel with one another
is a thing which has never yet existed,
from the greatest confederacy of nations
down to a town meeting or a vestry.
- Thomas Jefferson
I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers
We are all "neighbors."
Our world has gotten too small for us to be anything else.
We can no longer have "us" and "them" - friends and enemies.
A person from Iraq, or Russia, or Columbia is
no more a stranger or enemy than a person from across town.
A few people everywhere are troublemakers.
Every religion provokes a few people to become extremists.
Do we need police around the globe? Unfortunately, we always will.
Do we need war? Does that question even deserve an answer?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.