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Funny Quotes about Whereas

A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon

I believe in intuition and inspiration.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited,
whereas imagination embraces the entire world,
stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.
It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.
- Albert Einstein

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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