Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Weigh

Day by day we should weigh what we have
granted to the spirit of the world
against what we have denied to the spirit of Jesus,
in thought and especially in deed.
- Albert Schweitzer

It is a better thing to weigh and measure priorities
in the illuminating light of your own mission
than to have your activities formed by the
impressions and expectations of others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person;
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but to pour them all out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together,
knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and then,
with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
- George Eliot

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

I wish you a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May You Dance Lightly With Life, and Have a Whimsical Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

I wish you a magical white rabbit kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wish you a tea and jammies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Lighten up, have a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My joy is the golden sunset
giving thanks for another day.
Gratitude itself is a source of joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Protect your vision.
Prevail over adversity.
Persevere in the midst of turmoil.
Passionately act upon your convictions.
Purposely walk into the day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Carpe Diem (Seize the day)
- Latin Proverb

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
- Anonymous

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln

Today Is My Day To Laugh At Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Spend time every day listening to what your muse is trying to tell you.
- Saint Bartholomew

Go within every day and find the inner strength
so that the world will not blow your candle out.
- Katherine Dunham

Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle.
It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.
- Rabindranath Tagore

We have a choice every day regarding
the attitude we will embrace for that day.
- Charles Swindoll

Only that day dawns to which we are awake.
- Henry David Thoreau

Today is my day to dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Spend some time alone every day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.