Funny Quotes about Washes

Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir

First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Washes

Funny Quotes