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Funny Quotes about Wars

Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly
that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is incumbent on every generation
to pay its own debts as it goes.
A principle which if acted on would
save one-half the wars of the world.
- Thomas Jefferson

Do or do not, there is no try.
- Jedi Master Yoda in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

When the war of the giants is over,
the wars of the pygmies will begin.
- Winston Churchill

Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
- Yoda, character in Star Wars movie

Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world
that we must love our enemies - or else?
The chain reaction of evil -
hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -
must be broken, or else we shall be plunged
into the dark abyss of annihilation.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

You must unlearn what you have learned.
- the character Yoda in the movie Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

If all of us acted in unison as I act individually
there would be no wars and no poverty.
I have made myself personally responsible
for the fate of every human being who has come my way.
- Anais Nin

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill

You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
- Winston Churchill

We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy

When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill

Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill

A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill

Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill

All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu

What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain

If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee

We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill

If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton

When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill

The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
- Winston Churchill

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau

There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter

When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails,
and then asks you not to kill him.
- Winston Churchill

Never has there been a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin

Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Communism has never come to power in a country
that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.
- John F. Kennedy

War is an instrument entirely inefficient
toward redressing wrong;
and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.
- Thomas Jefferson

There was never a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin

What difference does it make to the dead,
the orphans, and the homeless,
whether the mad destruction is wrought
under the name of totalitarianism
or the holy name of liberty or democracy?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The most successful war seldom pays for its losses.
- Thomas Jefferson

Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill

It is not enough to say we must not wage war.
It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy

War is a poor chisel to carve out tomorrow.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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