I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
I am bored with it all.
- Winston Churchill
Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
For those who are bored with life,
the path to happiness almost always comes
through service to the less-fortunate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill
The future ain't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
This town needs an enema.
- the movie Batman
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.