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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Vices

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

He has all of the virtues I dislike,
and none of the vices I admire.
- Winston Churchill

Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.
- Benjamin Franklin

If the children are untaught,
their ignorance and vices will in future life
cost us much dearer in their consequences
than it would have done in their
correction by a good education.
- Thomas Jefferson

The inherent vice of capitalism
is the unequal sharing of blessings;
the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
- Winston Churchill

As far as I'm concerned, I prefer
silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
- Albert Einstein

Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have also seen children successfully
surmounting the effects of an evil inheritance.
That is due to purity being an inherent attribute of the soul.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The Divine Plan is one of Freedom.
The inherent nature of man is ever seeking
to express itself in terms of freedom,
because freedom is the birthright of every living soul.
- Ernest Holmes

The inherent nature of God
is not changed by our individual beliefs,
our religious institutions,
or our communal traditions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
You give your own meaning to time, as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

See life as ugly and painful - if you choose,
or see it as beautiful and joyful.
There is no inherent meaning in life.
We give life its meaning.
It's our Choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is unchangeable but the inherent
and unalienable rights of man.
- Thomas Jefferson

The inherent nature of life is constant change.
To fear change is to fear life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is
the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill

Chaos is inherent in all compounded things.
Strive on with diligence.
- The Buddha

The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
- Henry David Thoreau

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Urgent? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin

There was a time when a man was so convinced
that the world was round
that he was determined to prove it.
- Ernest Holmes

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

Time is carnivorous.
Urgency rips the peaceful flesh from our bones.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch

Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal.
As spirits they belong to the eternal world,
but as animals they inhabit time.
- C. S. Lewis

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
- Anonymous

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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