Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Untruths

Any statement that is self-serving
is likely to contain untruths.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous,
there's really nothing to lose.
- Jewel

A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz

We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

In a separation it is the one
who is not really in love
who says the more tender things.
- Marcel Proust

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal
of plain living and high thinking
the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants.
Man's happiness really lies in contentment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The highest proof of the spirit is love.
Love is the eternal thing which men can already
on earth possess as it really is.
- Albert Schweitzer

How different our lives are when we
really know what is deeply important to us,
and keeping that picture in mind,
we manage ourselves each day
to be and to do what really matters most
- Stephen Covey

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright

"Pride" is one of those really crazy words,
and such a double-edged sword -
Self-Worth on one edge, and Ego on the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead

We can never get enough of what we don't really need.
- Matthew Kelly

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it
as he who helps to perpetrate it.
He who accepts evil without protesting against it
is really cooperating with it.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sometimes the things you really want
sneak in the back door.
Notice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela

If we hope for what we are not likely to possess,
we act and think in vain,
and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.
- Joseph Addison

To have a friendship with God,
all I really have to do is have
a friendship with my Self.
- Neale Donald Walsch

We do not need to proselytize
either by our speech or by our writing.
We can only do so really with our lives.
Let our lives be open books for all to study.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

A friendship that can end never really began.
- Publilius Syrus

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are
and then live with that decision.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

What you seem to be, be really.
- Benjamin Franklin

Maybe life isn't really as complicated
as we make it out to be.
Perhaps a simple child-like attitude would create
a less stressful and happier life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank

I have to really like you to share my food with you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley

Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know:
the only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
- Gail Sheehy

We really have to understand the person we want to love.
If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Forgiveness is really a gift to yourself -
have the compassion to forgive others,
and the courage to forgive yourself.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Priorities - what's really important -
health, and doing what one wants to do -
it's certainly not money.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Look at other people and ask yourself
if you are really seeing them or just your thoughts about them.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

You can never really live anyone else's life,
not even your child's.
The influence you exert is through your own life,
and what you've become yourself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

One thing I know: the only ones among you
who will be really happy are those
who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view.
- Harper Lee

I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
- Socrates

The only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel

The really great secret - Happiness is free.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything,
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
- e. e. cummings

Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you really aren't trying to get anywhere else in this moment,
patience takes care of itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

The journey between what you once were
and who you are now becoming
is where the dance of Life really takes place.
- Barbara De Angelis

It is what a man thinks of himself
that really determines his fate.
- Henry David Thoreau


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.