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Funny Quotes about Unbending

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

A tree that is unbending, is easily broken.
- Lao Tzu

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields PHOTO

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.