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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Transcendent

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter
everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe
that change forever how we experience life and the world.
- John Milton

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. PHOTO

Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend
reality by imagination, as I try to do.
- Anais Nin

Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter

Belief transcends ritual, structure and societal expectation.
It is an enlivening, intensely personal
core to our being. Our way of being.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

God is a metaphor for that which transcends
all levels of intellectual thought.
It's as simple as that.
- Joseph Campbell

Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected
in a cosmic religion for the future:
It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology;
it covers both the natural and the spiritual,
and it is based on a religious sense
aspiring from the experience of all things,
natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
- Albert Einstein

When you open up to the ultimate,
immediately it pours into you.
You are no longer an ordinary human being -
you have transcended.
Your insight has become the
insight of the whole existence.
Now you are no longer separate -
you have found your roots.
- Osho

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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