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Funny Quotes about Thyself

Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)

Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Universe and God.
- Pythagoras

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.
- Benjamin Franklin

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius

Anchoring in soft mud is dangerous.
Anchor thyself to the rocks of Faith, Compassion, and Service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be true to thyself.
- William Shakespeare
(paraphrase of Shakespeare's famous quote)

I offer my body, my mind
and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose
to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work,
and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered
to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Most people consider the course of events as natural and inevitable.
They little know what radical change are possible through prayer.
Every morning I offer my body, my mind and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O infinite creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett

Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell.
- Emily Dickinson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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