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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Tease

Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.