Funny Quotes about Subjects

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

It is a cursed evil to any man to become as absorbed
in any subject as I am in mine.
- Charles Darwin

I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson

My only fear is that I may live too long.
This would be a subject of dread to me.
- Thomas Jefferson

Which beliefs bring out the best in you?
Which beliefs hold you prisoner to yesterday
and limit your options for designing a great future?
Test your beliefs with as much objectivity
as you can bring to the subject.
Be willing to let go of those beliefs
that represent your parents' opinions,
or your communities opinions, rather than your own.
Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing,
should become the foundation of your being -
your reason for living.
Take action on those beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One defeats a fanatic precisely by not being a fanatic oneself,
but on the contrary by using one's intelligence.
- George Orwell

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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