Funny Quotes about Slaying

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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