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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Roman

Each day provides it's own gifts.
- Martial (Roman Poet)

Seize the day (Carpe Diem)
- ancient Roman proverb

I am an Epicurean.
I consider the genuine (not the imputed) doctrines of Epicurus
as containing everything rational in moral philosophy
which Greek and Roman leave to us.
- Thomas Jefferson

I think with the Romans, that the general of today
should be a soldier tomorrow if necessary.
- Thomas Jefferson

Every citizen should be a soldier.
This was the case with the Greeks and Romans,
and must be that of every free state.
- Thomas Jefferson

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

The world is more malleable than you think
and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz

I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank

We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein

We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright

The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind

The earth is like a spaceship
that didn't come with an operating manual.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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