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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Regaining

Recognizing my blindness is the first step
toward regaining my sight.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stop! Breathe deeply.
Begin bringing peace to the outer world
by regaining your own inner peace.
Choose love, choose gratitude,
choose forgiveness, choose peace.
Begin with your own inner peace.
Then use that inner peace
as a platform from which
to approach the outer world
with perspective, understanding, and patience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To a very young child, mommy and daddy are gods.
We spend our lives looking to regain
that sense of being cared for and protected.
Thus religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens,
you can never regain their respect and esteem.
- Abraham Lincoln

Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

I forgive everyone for every "wrong"
that I believe they have ever inflicted upon me.
I forgive them for my own sake,
that I may release the venom -
the anger and resentment within myself -
and regain my joy and serenity.
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens,
you can never regain their respect and esteem.
It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time;
you can even fool some of the people all of the time;
but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.