Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Protection

On life's journey, faith is nourishment,
virtuous deeds are a shelter,
wisdom is the light by day
and right mindfulness is the protection by night.
If a man lives a pure life, nothing can destroy him.
- The Buddha

Because we fear the responsibility for our actions,
we have allowed ourselves to develop the mentality of slaves.
Contrary to the stirring sentiments of the Declaration of Independence,
we now pledge "our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor"
not to one another for our mutual protection, but to the state,
whose actions continue to exploit, despoil, and destroy us.
- Butler D. Shaffer

Protect your vision.
Prevail over adversity.
Persevere in the midst of turmoil.
Passionately act upon your convictions.
Purposely walk into the day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The power of intuitive understanding
will protect you from harm until the end of your days.
- Lao Tzu

Though force can protect in emergency,
only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation
can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Age does not protect you from love.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
- Anais Nin

The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson

The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous

Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen
who would protect the rights and privileges of free people
and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle,
that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail,
that will to be rightful must be reasonable;
that the minority possess their equal rights,
which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.
- Thomas Jefferson

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

Just as courage imperils life, fear protects it.
- Leonardo da Vinci

To a very young child, mommy and daddy are gods.
We spend our lives looking to regain
that sense of being cared for and protected.
Thus religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Rather than worrying about the continuous stream of potential threats,
let us give thanks for our blessing of living in the eye-of-the-storm -
our protected refuge from the terrors
of fearsome dangers just outside our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional

We must not reduce the bosom of the universal church
to a nest protecting our mediocrity.
- Pope Francis

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.