Funny Quotes about Proselytizing

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Proselytizing

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