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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Proposes

Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Completion:
It is time for the project to be over.
You submitted the proposal, you painted your house,
you passed-in the term paper.
Whatever praise or criticism you received,
it is now time to move on to your next project.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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