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Funny Quotes about Priests

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

You only meet your once in a lifetime friend ...
once in a lifetime.
- Little Rascals

The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

The good man is the friend of all living things.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts

I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government.
It is always oppressive.
- Thomas Jefferson

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller

A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran

Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

An insincere and evil friend is more
to be feared than a wild beast;
a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind.
- The Buddha

A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus

In everyone's life, at some time,
our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame
by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer

Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard

In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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