Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Prediction

Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction
because of the variety of factors in operation,
not because of any lack of order in nature.
- Albert Einstein

The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker

Those who have knowledge, don't predict.
Those who predict, don't have knowledge.
- Lao Tzu

I predict future happiness for Americans
if they can prevent the government
from wasting the labors of the people
under the pretense of taking care of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

While most managers spend their time attempting
to predict the future accurately -
and while that's valuable -
the best managers are able to generate a future
which was not going to happen otherwise -
that is, a future which was not predictable.
- Werner Erhard

The success of a project is best predicted
by the enthusiasm of its participants.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If life were predictable
it would cease to be life,
and be without flavor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There are all kinds of futures.
There is a hoped-for future,
there is a feared future,
there is a predictable future,
and there is an unimagined future.
- Werner Erhard

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.