Funny Quotes about Pot

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

It does not do to dwell on dreams, ...
and forget to live.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Smell is a potent wizard that transports you
across thousands of miles
and all the years you have lived.
- Helen Keller

Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement.
Properly understood and applied,
it is the most potent instrument of action.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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