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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Planets

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet.
We all breathe the same air.
We all cherish our children's future.
And we are all mortal.
- John F. Kennedy

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking

What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got
a tolerable planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau

My biggest dream is that my words will inspire heart,
hope and personal responsibility in people around the globe
long after my feet in these shoes aren't walking the planet.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
- Jack London

For this generation, ours, life is nuclear survival,
liberty is human rights, the pursuit of happiness
is a planet whose resources are devoted
to the physical and spiritual nourishment of its inhabitants.
- Jimmy Carter

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The more laws and order are made prominent,
the more thieves and robbers there will be.
- Lao Tzu

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

The very essence of instinct is that
it's followed independently of reason.
- Charles Darwin

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human spirit ranges across a truly amazing
diversity of experiences and emotions -
the highest peaks and the lowest valleys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter

As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive
and potentially orderly and constructive.
- Margaret Mead

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy

In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle

The purpose of human life is to serve,
and to show compassion and the will to help others.
- Albert Schweitzer

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung

The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy.
- John Galsworthy

Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius

We cannot despair of humanity,
since we ourselves are human beings.
- Albert Einstein

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

We may have found a cure for most evils;
but we have found no remedy for the worst of them all,
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Nature and human life are as various
as our several constitutions.
Who shall say what prospect life offers to another?
- Henry David Thoreau

I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes
the objects of his creation
and is but a reflection of human frailty.
- Albert Einstein

It's all right for a woman to be, above all, human.
I am a woman first of all.
- Anais Nin

We may have different religions, different
languages, different colored skin,
but we all belong to one human race.
- Kofi Annan

Being human, we are imperfect. That's why we need each other.
To catch each other when we falter.
To encourage each other when we lose heart.
Some may lead; others may follow; but none of us can go it alone.
- Hilary Clinton

Man must evolve for all human conflict,
a method which rejects
revenge, aggression and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The human voice can never reach the distance
that is covered by the still small voice of conscience.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nature is not human hearted.
- Lao Tzu

Sometimes our light goes out but
is blown into flame by another human being.
Each of us owes deepest thanks
to those who have rekindled this light.
- Albert Schweitzer

Man's enemies are not demons, but human beings like himself.
- Lao Tzu

Human rights is the soul of our foreign policy,
because human rights is the very soul of our sense of nationhood.
- Jimmy Carter

No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim

If the human race wishes to have a
prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity,
they have only got to behave in a
peaceful and helpful way toward one another.
- Winston Churchill

Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious,
one should preserve it.
- Anais Nin

Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill

There comes a pause, for human strength will not endure
to dance without cessation;
and everyone must reach the point at length of absolute prostration.
- Lewis Carroll

Any human being who is becoming independent of conditionings,
of religions, scriptures, prophets and messiahs, has arrived home.
He has found the treasure which was hidden in his own being.
- Osho


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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