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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Perished

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Government of the people,
by the people,
for the people,
shall not perish from this Earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

We must learn to live together as brothers
or perish together as fools.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If the Great Way perishes, there will be morality and duty.
When cleverness and knowledge arise, great lies will flourish.
When relatives fall out with one another,
there will be filial duty and love.
When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.
- Lao Tzu

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy

Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher

I welcome change as a great adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In principle, the great religions of the world
do not differ as much as they appear to.
- Ernest Holmes

Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill

I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

That some achieve great success,
is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
- Abraham Lincoln

He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Strong convictions precede great actions.
- Louisa May Alcott

Thinking is necessary, but not sufficient, for living a great life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you become centered, suddenly there is great freedom
because you know you are not the mind and you are not the body.
- Osho

These are the keys to a great life...
taking oneself lightly, forgiveness, and acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Great people are those who make others feel
that they, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The challenge of living a great life is to create
a meaningful whole out of sometimes ill-fitting halves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

Great minds have purposes others have wishes.
- Washington Irving

Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish.
Do not overdo it.
- Lao Tzu

About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is an act of great Courage to forsake all Blame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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