Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Pangs

Friendship is certainly the finest balm
for the pangs of disappointed love.
- Jane Austen

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee

Friendship is a thing most necessary to life,
since without friends no one would choose to live,
though possessed of all other advantages.
- Aristotle

Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Above all else, my inspiration is friendship.
- Bono

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship
of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.
- Robert Southey

Friendship that flows from the heart
cannot be frozen by adversity,
as the water that flows from the spring
cannot congeal in winter.
- James Fenimore Cooper

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations;
entangling alliances with none.
- Thomas Jefferson

If a friendship isn't comfortable, it's not a friendship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley

Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates

We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
- Aristotle

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

I have friends in overalls
whose friendship I would not swap
for the favor of the kings of the world.
- Thomas A. Edison

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler

I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort

Friendship based solely upon gratitude
is like a photograph; with time it fades.
- Carmen Sylva

Friendship is Love without his wings.
- Lord Byron


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.