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Funny Quotes about Moderation

An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If one oversteps the bounds of moderation,
the greatest pleasures cease to please.
- Epictetus

Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)

People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi

Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world
that we must love our enemies - or else?
The chain reaction of evil -
hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -
must be broken, or else we shall be plunged
into the dark abyss of annihilation.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Modern cynics and skeptics... see no harm in paying those
to whom they entrust the minds of their children
a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom
they entrust the care of their plumbing.
- John F. Kennedy

The task of the modern educator
is not to cut down jungles,
but to irrigate deserts.
- C.S. Lewis

Be merciful, moderate, and modest.
- Lao Tzu

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.