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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Memorial Day

Memorial Day remains one of America's
most cherished patriotic observances.
The spirit of this day has not changed -
it remains a day to honor those who
died defending our freedom and democracy.
- Doc Hastings

The Lincoln Memorial is related to the toga
and the civilization that wore it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions,
but laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind.
As that becomes more developed, more enlightened,
as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered
and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
- Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

I wish you a tea and jammies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

I wish you a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

I wish you a magical white rabbit kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May You Dance Lightly With Life, and Have a Whimsical Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lighten up, have a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

My joy is the golden sunset
giving thanks for another day.
Gratitude itself is a source of joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Protect your vision.
Prevail over adversity.
Persevere in the midst of turmoil.
Passionately act upon your convictions.
Purposely walk into the day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

Carpe Diem (Seize the day)
- Latin Proverb

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
- Anonymous

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

Don't take rejection personally.
Don't let someone else's bad day spoil your day.
As long as you never reject yourself, you'll be fine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

We have a choice every day regarding
the attitude we will embrace for that day.
- Charles Swindoll

It is only when we truly know and understand
that we have a limited time on earth
and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up
that we will begin to live each day to the fullest,
as if it were the only one we had.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Seize the day (Carpe Diem)
- ancient Roman proverb

This day boldness is manifested in a simple grace: gratitude.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Today is your day to honor your being,
release each and every struggle,
gather strength from life's storms,
relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common.
Celebrate it every day.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.