Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Measures

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
- Charles Darwin

There are other measures of self-respect for a man,
than the number of clean shirts he puts on every day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Measures must always, in a progressive society,
be held superior to men, who are after all,
imperfect instruments, working for their fulfillment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The United States strongly seeks a lasting agreement
for the discontinuance of nuclear weapons tests.
We believe that this would be an important step toward reduction
of international tensions and would open the way
to further agreement on substantial measures of disarmament.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
- Marianne Williamson

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I have thought a sufficient measure of civilization
is the influence of good women.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The full measure of a man is
not to be found in the man himself,
but in the colors and textures that
come alive in others because of him.
- Albert Schweitzer

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better take things as they come along
with patience and equanimity.
- Carl Jung

Don't let anyone else take the measure
of your worth and capabilities.
Always stand proud in who you are.
- Margaret Spellings

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone
who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson

One measure of friendship consists
not in the number of things friends can discuss,
but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman

To measure the man, measure his heart.
- Malcolm S. Forbes

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead

Intense love does not measure, it just gives.
- Mother Teresa

I cannot know the pain you feel.
I cannot share your memories or your loss.
My words of sympathy are beneath measure, yet
know that my heart reaches out with love to your heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How do we measure a great leader?
By how he treats the least of these.
- Jesse Jackson

I must admit that I personally measure success
in terms of the contributions
an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.
- Margaret Mead

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
in moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person;
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but to pour them all out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together,
knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and then,
with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
- George Eliot

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson

We all tend to measure our worth by what we DO -
the actions we take.
We also highly value what we SAY.
However, the greatest impact we have
on our family, our friends,
and our world is our kindness and love.
A bowl of soup served with love
is a greater gift than a steak dinner served brusquely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a better thing to weigh and measure priorities
in the illuminating light of your own mission
than to have your activities formed by the
impressions and expectations of others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Simplicity and repose are qualities
that measure the true value of any work of art.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Speeches that are measured by the hour
will die with the hour.
- Thomas Jefferson

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
- Anonymous

If a man loses pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau

Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)

Success is to be measured not so much
by the position that one has reached in life
as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
- Booker T. Washington

The size of your success is measured by
the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream;
and how you handle disappointment along the way.
- Robert Kiyosaki

Mastery is not measured by the number of terrible
things you eliminate from your life, but by
the number of times you eliminate calling them terrible.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Mastery is not measured by the number of terrible
things you eliminate from your life,
but by the number of times you eliminate calling them terrible.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles

FEAR is an acronym in the English language
for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
- Neale Donald Walsch

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

The only real valuable thing is intuition.
- Albert Einstein

The Book of Life is a Book of Riddles,
with its Real Lessons Writ Small in the Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True religion is real living;
living with all one's soul,
with all one's goodness and righteousness.
- Albert Einstein

Real love is accepting other people the way they are
without trying to change them.
- don Miguel Ruiz

It is health that is real wealth,
and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron

What is real is beyond all reach.
- Julian Green

To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily,
but with roughest courage.
When they are real, they are
not glass threads or frost-work,
but the solidest thing we know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We know nothing at all.
All our knowledge is but the knowledge of schoolchildren.
The real nature of things we shall never know.
- Albert Einstein

If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

Real friendships among men are so rare
that when they occur they are famous.
- Clarence Day

This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.
The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
- Abraham Lincoln

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.