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Funny Quotes about Maintained

Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution.
That must be maintained, for it is
the only safeguard of our liberties.
- Abraham Lincoln

Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

Let me give you a definition of ethics:
It is good to maintain and further life
it is bad to damage and destroy life.
- Albert Schweitzer

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.
He who is devoid of the power to forgive
is devoid of the power to love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

Constant development is the law of life,
and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas
in order to appear consistent
drives himself into a false position.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Maintain a balance between skepticism and faith.
Maintain a beginner mind. Be open to possibility.
Don't give in to skepticism,
but don't give in to fantasy either.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To oppose something is to maintain it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.
He who is devoid of the power to forgive
is devoid of the power to love.
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Those who are highly evolved,
maintain an undiscriminating perception.
Seeing everything, labeling nothing,
they maintain their awareness of the Great Oneness.
Thus they are supported by it.
- Lao Tzu

Ecstasy is our very nature;
not to be ecstatic is simply unnecessary.
To be ecstatic is natural, spontaneous.
It needs no effort to be ecstatic,
it needs great effort to be miserable.
That's why you look to tired,
because misery is really hard work;
to maintain it is really difficult,
because you are doing something against nature.
- Osho

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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