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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Lens

It is not that mindfulness is the 'answer' to all life�s problems.
Rather, it is that all life�s problems can be seen more clearly
through the lens of a clear mind.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Words are a lens to focus one's mind.
- Ayn Rand

Just as in the comedies, a person who is in love
with the idea of love sees prospective partners
through the lens of idealism.
The reaction is, "This must be the one.
They are so perfect - the match of my dreams."
Is that person they just met a perfect match?
It's unlikely their friends think so.
So what happened? That person with the cute smile
was not much more than a mirror for the hopes and dreams
of the one in love with love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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