Funny Quotes about Jobs

Be a yardstick of quality.
Some people aren't used to an environment
where excellence is expected.
- Steve Jobs

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition -
they somehow already know what you truly want to become.
- Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs' Three Rules of Life ...
1. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
2. Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.
3. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition -
they somehow already know what you truly want to become.
- Steve Jobs

Life is unlimited.
Your world expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that you contribute.
Money that is spent or given away returns multiplied.
The more love that is given, the more love returns.
The more a helping hand is given, the more hands
are strengthened and empowered to help.
We can help each other to all be winners.
We can all have food, and jobs, and love, and happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of others' opinions
drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage
to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.
- Steve Jobs

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job,
tell 'em, Certainly I Can. -
and get busy and find out how to do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes, our family's most important job
is reminding us how unimportant we are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most...
I'm not sure anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it.
- William J. Clinton

Choose a job you love,
and you will never have to work a day in your life.
- Confucius

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Maturity is the ability to do a job
whether or not you are supervised,
to carry money without spending it,
and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
- Ann Landers

If you don't take full responsibility
for your own happiness,
who do you suppose will?
Your happiness is a one person job -
it begins and ends with you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton

It is not my place to doubt the sincere beliefs of others.
My job is to question my own beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No, they don't appreciate you - and it's not their job.
It's your own job to appreciate yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman

Know that miracles are the natural way of the Universe
Your only job is to move your doubting mind out of the way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think the person who takes a job in order to live -
that is to say, for the money -
has turned himself into a slave.
- Joseph Campbell

The price of success is hard work,
dedication to the job at hand,
and the determination that whether we win or lose,
we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
- Vince Lombardi

You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The ending of a job or a relationship
may appear as the darkest night,
but it is merely the Winter season -
the time of renewal and rebirth
that precedes the new planting -
the beginning of the next great cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you don't enjoy your career,
today is the day to begin a long-term plan
for creating a career that interests and excites you.
And, in the short term, even if you hate your job,
look for small joys at work each day,
perhaps in your interactions with customers and co-workers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies.
I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends, my goddamn friends.
They're the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.
- Warren G. Harding

Working at a job you hate is unlikely
to bring you either happiness or success.
Do what you love. You are far more likely to gain success -
recognition and financial reward - if you are working
at something that inspires and excites you.
And, whether wealth follows or not, you will be happy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand.
I beat people up.
- Muhammad Ali (world champion boxer)

The woman who can create her own job
is the woman who will win fame and fortune.
- Amelia Earhart

What if we like our outrageous side best?
We "know" that the "right" thing to do is to suck it up,
put the costume and the happy face back in storage for another year,
re-dress in our frown and gray flannel suit,
and trudge back to job, chores, "responsibilities," and "duty."
Stop! Maybe TODAY is the day to put the frown and gray flannel
into that dusty storage locker, and start to LIVE.
Not just today, but EVERY DAY for the rest of your life!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Jobs

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