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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Impetus

I think what's going on in Guantanamo Bay
and other places is a disgrace to the U.S.A.
I wouldn't say it's the cause of terrorism,
but it has given impetus and excuses to potential terrorists
to lash out at our country and justify their despicable acts.
- Jimmy Carter

USE this time of fresh beginnings.
Use it as an impetus, the force or energy toward change.
Become stronger, a better leader, more focused in your thoughts.
Exert more influence over your dreams
by bringing them closer to your thoughts, every day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

Think for yourself and question authority.
- Timothy Leary

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein

All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei

Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein

People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller

The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz

You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
- Winston Churchill

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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