Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Impartial

I cannot pretend to be impartial about the colors.
I rejoice with the brilliant ones, and
am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.
- Winston Churchill

He who experiences the unity of life
sees his own Self in all beings,
and all beings in his own Self,
and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
- The Buddha

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

We are what we pretend to be,
so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut

I feel exuberant. I don't pretend.
- Bono

The greatest way to live with honor in this world
is to be what we pretend to be.
- Socrates

We should not pretend to understand
the world only by the intellect;
we apprehend it just as much by feeling.
Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is,
at best, only the half of truth, and must, if it be honest,
also come to an understanding of its inadequacy.
- Carl Jung

Perspective:
Do you always look at life from the same point-of-view?
Consider viewing a situation as another might view it.
Look from behind, underneath, from the distant heavens.
View the situation as someone of a different religion,
race, or nationality might view it.
Pretend you are an alien from a distant galaxy -
that should be good for a laugh.
Troubles only appear troubling to those close to them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Commerce with all nations,
alliance with none,
should be our motto.
- Thomas Jefferson

How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson

I think, at a child's birth,
if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift,
that gift should be curiosity.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care
for people will hear them and be influenced
by them for good or ill.
- The Buddha

The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

No house should ever be on a hill or on anything.
It should be of the hill. Belonging to it.
Hill and house should live together
each the happier for the other.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Form follows function - that has been misunderstood.
Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others,
you should put a good deal of thought
into the happiness that you are able to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Every citizen should be a soldier.
This was the case with the Greeks and Romans,
and must be that of every free state.
- Thomas Jefferson

One that desires to excel
should endeavor in those things
that are in themselves most excellent.
- Epictetus

No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered
with a searching but at the same time a steady eye.
- Winston Churchill

All major religious traditions
carry basically the same message,
that is love, compassion and forgiveness.
The important thing is they should
be part of our daily lives.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein

No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein

It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop

You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry

Knowledge of what is, does not open
the door directly to what should be.
- Albert Einstein

Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious,
one should preserve it.
- Anais Nin

It is more dangerous that even
a guilty person should be punished
without the forms of law
than that he should escape.
- Thomas Jefferson

Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
- Albert Einstein

A man should look for what is,
and not for what he thinks should be.
- Albert Einstein

He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.