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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Height

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains,
at the huge waves of the sea,
at the long courses of rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars;
and they pass by themselves without wondering.
- St. Augustine

All in the dark we grope along,
And if we go amiss
We learn at least which path is wrong,
And there is gain in this.
We do not always win the race
By only running right;
We have to tread the mountain's base
Before we reach its height.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer

Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you
to reach the heights of your capabilities
or make the money that you want
without becoming very good at it.
- Brian Tracy

Life is a continuity always and always.
There is no final destination it is going towards.
Just the pilgrimage, just the journey in itself is life,
not reaching to some point,
no goal - just dancing and being in pilgrimage,
moving joyously, without bothering about any destination.
- Osho

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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