Funny Quotes about Heaving

Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain.
To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid.
- Carlos Castaneda

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

Trees are the earth's endless effort
to speak to the listening heaven.
- Rabindranath Tagore

All religions must be tolerated...
for every man must get to heaven in his own way.
- Epictetus

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Practice yourself, for heaven's sake in little things,
and then proceed to greater.
- Epictetus

Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live life like it's heaven on earth.
- Anonymous (various attributions and alternate phrasings)

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
- William Shakespeare

Great indeed is the sublimity of the Creative,
to which all beings owe their beginning
and which permeates all heaven.
- Lao Tzu

Heaven is within us, and we experience it
to the degree that we become conscious of it.
- Ernest Holmes

It is better to conquer yourself
than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you,
not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
- The Buddha

Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain

To see the world in a grain of sand,
and to see heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
and eternity in an hour.
- William Blake

Without stirring abroad,
One can know the whole world;
Without looking out of the window,
One can see the way of heaven.
The further one goes, The less one knows.
- Lao Tzu

Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam

Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself.
Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor
for helping us to love God better because of them.
- Mother Teresa

Jesus preached more and taught more
about helping the poor and the sick and the hungry
than he did about heaven and hell.
Shouldn't that tell us something?
- John Grisham

May God grant you always...
A sunbeam to warm you,
a moonbeam to charm you,
a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you.
Laughter to you.
Faithful friends near you.
And whenever you pray,
Heaven to hear you.
- Irish Blessing

There's a big difference between a handout and a helping hand.
One's charity, the other's friendship.
- Little Joe' Cartwright in Bonanza - Rain from Heaven

I feel no need for any other faith
than my faith in the kindness of human beings.
I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and the life upon it
that I cannot think of heaven and angels.
- Pearl S. Buck

Trees go wandering forth in all directions with every wind,
going and coming like ourselves,
traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day,
and through space heaven knows how fast and far!
- John Muir

The things that have acquired unity are these:
Heaven by unity has become clear;
Earth by unity has become steady;
The Spirit by unity has become spiritual;
The Valley by unity has become full;
All things by unity have come into existence.
- Lao Tzu

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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