Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Hacking

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root.
- Henry David Thoreau

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root,
and it may be that he who bestows the largest amount
of time and money on the needy
is doing the most by his mode of life
to produce that misery
which he strives in vain to relieve.
- Henry David Thoreau

Victory has a thousand fathers,
but defeat is an orphan.
- John F. Kennedy

God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Lao Tzu (Chinese Proverb)

To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are asking the nations of Europe
between whom rivers of blood have flowed
to forget the feuds of a thousand years.
- Winston Churchill

One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.
- Grace Hopper

If you have ten thousand regulations
you destroy all respect for the law.
- Winston Churchill

It is better to conquer yourself
than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you,
not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
- The Buddha

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving

Better than a thousand hollow words,
is one word that brings peace.
- The Buddha

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act
is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I try to give to the poor people for love
what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds;
yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
- Mother Teresa

If you may count every drop of water in the ocean and
count every grain of sand in the sea -
multiply it by a thousand and that's how much I love you.
- George of Langkloof

Though we may know Him by a thousand names,
He is one and the same to us all.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil
and you're a thousand miles from the corn field.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do the difficult things while they are easy
and do the great things while they are small.
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
- Lao Tzu

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment
and the other by acts of love. Power based on love
is a thousand times more effective and permanent
then the one derived from fear of punishment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Faith is a living and unshakable confidence,
a belief in the grace of God so assured that
a man would die a thousand deaths for its sake.
- Martin Luther

Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho

I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starts that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still in each new dawn.
- Traditional Native American Prayer

In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung

Before printing was discovered,
a century was equal to a thousand years.
- Henry David Thoreau

Be in peace with many,
but let one of a thousand be thy counsellor.
- Ecclesiastes 1:23

I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Anonymous

The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill

How could man rejoice in victory
and delight in the slaughter of men?
- Lao Tzu

Confidence is half of victory.
- Yiddish Proverb

Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy

Victory belongs to the most persevering.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Deserve Victory.
- Terry Goodkind

Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort.
Full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu

The habit of persistence is the habit of victory.
- Herbert Kaufman

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment,
full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If you seek truth, you will not seek
victory by dishonorable means,
and if you find truth, you will become invincible.
- Epictetus

When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life always rides in strength to victory,
not through internationalism...
but only through the direct responsibility of the individual.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There is no victory at bargain basement prices.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu

To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets,
but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
- Abraham Lincoln

Far better is it to dare mighty things,
to win glorious triumphs,
even though chequered by failure,
than to take rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy much nor suffer much,
because they live in the grey twilight
that knows not victory or defeat.
- Theodore Roosevelt

It is better to lead from behind
and to put others in front,
especially when you celebrate victory
when nice things occur.
You take the front line when there is danger.
Then people will appreciate your leadership.
- Nelson Mandela

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy

The greatest and most important problems of life
are all fundamentally insoluble.
They can never be solved but only outgrown.
- Carl Jung

Intellectuals solve problems,
geniuses prevent them.
- Albert Einstein

It's not that I'm so smart,
it's just that I stay with problems longer.
- Albert Einstein

Happiness is not the absence of problems,
but the willingness to deal with them joyfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today's problems can seldom be solved using yesterday's answers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We cannot solve our problems with the same
thinking we used when we created them.
- Albert Einstein

Problems cannot be solved at the same level
of awareness that created them.
- Albert Einstein

To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
- Henry Kaiser

It is not that mindfulness is the 'answer' to all life�s problems.
Rather, it is that all life�s problems can be seen more clearly
through the lens of a clear mind.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

The basic problems facing the world today
are not susceptible to a military solution.
- John F. Kennedy

In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein

Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment,
and learn again to exercise his will - his personal responsibility
in the realm of faith and morals.
- Albert Schweitzer

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead

Unlike presidential administrations,
problems rarely have terminal dates.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi

Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.