Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Guy

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one to make your dreams come true.
- Anonymous

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon.
- William J. Clinton

Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare

If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi

'Tis strange - but true;
for truth is always strange;
Stranger than fiction.
- Lord Byron

True friendship can afford true knowledge.
It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
- Henry David Thoreau

The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow

I Honor My True Self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common.
Celebrate it every day.
- Anonymous

What is true of the individual will be
tomorrow true of the whole nation
if individuals will but refuse to lose heart and hope.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington

Many persons have a wrong idea of
what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self-gratification
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller

We censor our actions, but
our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are certain pursuits which,
if not wholly poetic and true,
do at least suggest a nobler and finer
relation to nature than we know.
The keeping of bees, for instance.
- Henry David Thoreau

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha

Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer

If what Proust says is true,
that happiness is the absence of fever,
then I will never know happiness.
For I am possessed by a fever
for knowledge, experience, and creation.
- Anais Nin

Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty.
The obedient must be slaves.
- Henry David Thoreau

The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Politics is a profession; a serious, complicated and,
in its true sense, a noble one.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

True friends are appreciative and never demanding.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not what you don't know that kills you,
it's what you know for sure that ain't true.
- Mark Twain

True friends are those who lift you up
when your heart's wings forget how to fly.
- Anonymous

True love has no limits.
- Anonymous

A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Intolerance is itself a form of violence
and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

Mastering others is strength.
Mastering yourself is true power.
- Lao Tzu


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.