Funny Quotes about Golden

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

I can see, and that is why I can be happy,
in what you call the dark, but which to me is golden.
I can see a God-made world, not a manmade world.
- Helen Keller

Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.
- George Washington Carver

A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
- inscribed on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor

Know that the true essence of the Golden Rule
is always being compassionate, kind,
generous, and being in service to others.
Compelling others to behave as you wish
them to behave in the name of the
Golden Rule is a corruption of a sacred principle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare

It is health that is real wealth,
and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Fame is the scentless sunflower, with gaudy crown of gold;
But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

One can pay back the loan of gold,
but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.
- Malayan Proverb

Confidence is the most important thing,
more important than gold or currency.
- Wen Jiabao

The desire of gold is not for gold.
It is for the means of freedom and benefit.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Golden

Funny Quotes