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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Gay

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill

Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.
- Gary Allen

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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